Inside you, there are two wolves. One of the wolves is possessed by the ghost of a really motivated personal gym trainer with humungous biceps on which there is a tattoo that says “Motivation”, with an explosion going off in the background. When a task comes in your direction, that wolf howls and quotes Qasim Ali Shah constantly, urging you to just do it!
The other wolf is zoned out. He is spiritually on a beach in Maldives, wearing sunglasses and sipping on a pina colada. When you tell him about your chore, he looks at you dead in the eye and says, “Hey! Let’s not do it right now. Or today. Or ever again”.
Now, I don’t know which wolf you’re going to listen to, but you can decide while I get my folding chair and mint margarita and of course my umbrella, because oof, it is hot here in Maldives!
Everyone who has a will to live has procrastinated at least a few times in their life. Postponing plans is so much fun! That’s why that chill wolf emerges victorious in most cases.
Procrastination is, strictly speaking, a form of self-sabotage, a drug you can’t just quit.
I have found a loop hole though. Let me tell you, my secret. I am not procrastinating. It’s called self-care.
Yes, that marvel movie marathon was really, really necessary for my sanity. I couldn’t have prepared myself to do that physio assignment otherwise. Also yes, organizing my whole room a night before my pharmacology exam was really important. And yes, staring at the peeled wallpaper of my room for an hour was also something I needed to do before preparing for that quiz. It is self-care!
When you search it on the internet, you’ll fine hundreds and hundreds of people telling you to quit procrastination and start living your life today. That is easy to say if you’re a rich CEO……or have generational wealth. Procrastination is essentially spoiling yourself because you can’t ride a Porsche along River Seine, but you can postpone that very essential task your whole career depends upon! Seems fun!
And procrastination isn’t essentially a bad thing. Imagine if Hitler had procrastinated. And British wouldn’t have gotten hold of subcontinent if we had properly procrastinated.
“Oh, Great Emperor! We have gotten this UG form for East India Company signed by our tutor.
If only you would sign it, we could establish our business here instantly”
“uh…yeah………can I….do that… later?”
“Your Highness…… we do need this form urgently….we still need our attested passport size photos. So can you-
“Sure, but later. I need to watch the Taj Mahal construction right now, it’s live.”
Forgive me for my historical accuracy but I procrastinated too much and had no time to see if I had gotten it right. Also, at this point in my life, I think every major life decision needs to have a
UG form signed by all relevant authorities.
I do not think there exists a single human being who doesn’t struggle with procrastination. (shout out to Microsoft word for helping me type procrastination so many times because I was actually going to do it later).
There’s always an internal struggle going on all the time about should I just do it? or I could do it later? And we all lean towards the latter, right? Because it is relatively easier not to do tasks. And it is also fun. Especially when you are supposed to do the said task.
It is like the only form of rebellion students are allowed. And it is not only limited to students.
Mostly we can’t do anything according to our will. You can’t just take a day off your job because you want to. That girl can’t change her major because her parents won’t allow her. I can’t just become a pirate and rule the seven seas because
1) I don’t have the money….. or the guts
2) I will most probably be pirated on the way to the nearest port. Because I have to cross Karachi for that.
So, I cannot pursue my dream of world domination but I can postpone my task and have an adrenaline rush at the last few moments!
The thing is if you are having a soliloquy about procrastination, then you are actually doing pretty well. People who aren’t ambitious don’t actually argue with themselves about whether or not they should procrastinate. So an internal struggle about procrastination is actually way better than just abandoning your tasks recklessly. At least you are trying! If you do talk to yourself to motivate yourself, then congratulate yourself!....and seek therapy because soliloquies are not essentially ideal.
And maybe, maybe in our bore tragic daily routine with the silent battle with procrastination, we have procrastinated life too. Have you ever wondered when your life will start? You may think it started when I was born!
No. Life starts when you actually start living. Till that time, you are merely existing. So, when does life start actually? When you’re a reckless student who forgets about all their problems when you hang out with friends but then you go back to being dead inside when you remember your assignment which is due at midnight? Or when you’re an adult and you get the notification that you have got your salary and your eyes start twinkling until the moment you realize you have to pay utility bills and you go back to being a zombie? Is this not another form of procrastination. With so many things to do, we ultimately procrastinate on small joys!
Sure, I can procrastinate on assignments and studies, but I cannot procrastinate on life. Stop waiting for the weekend. You need to enjoy your Wednesday. Eat that ice cream. Wouldn’t a cup of tea be great right now? The sky looks pretty today. Listen to your favorite song! Call a friend!
Buy a cake….and candles! Happy today!
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