Taking a deep breath, I dived head first into the army of buyers, sellers, pickpockets and thieves.I kept walking at an even pace, though I was in a hurry. But even if I wanted to walk faster, the crowd wasn't gonna let me.
A child was howling somewhere, there was the raucous sound of metal being hammered. A hawker was yelling at an ear splitting volume. I felt my nerves tingling in this clangorous habitat. I tried to walk faster.
I passed the bakery and the sweet scent of cinnamon rolls tickled my nose, but I didn't stop. I was already pretty slow. I moved past the bookstore and heard the owner arguing with a customer about a cracked book spine. Both of them yelled at the top of their lungs. I didn't stop to watch them quarrel like I usually did.
The fear gnawed at me. It creeped slowly along my spine and made me shiver. I was afraid I would lose the box, or it'll crack due to my grip, and my heart hammered in my chest even at the thought of losing it. I kept walking, straight ahead, trying not to pay attention to all those horrifying intrusive thoughts. I knew the moment I let them in, I was going to stop and trace my steps back. I was afraid that I would lose the courage I spent the last few days gathering so desperately.
I made my way through the jam, being pushed and pulled by the crowd. At some point, somebody stepped on my cloak and I had to yank it away. I bumped in a round woman who cursed at me when her sack fell down. I trampled and stomped over many feet, mumbling apologies, making excuses.
Finally after what felt like eternity, I stood in front of the grocers shop. It was probably the oldest shop in the alley. When I stepped over the threshold, the scent of mint hit me and I inhaled sharply. A wave of melancholy passed over me. I shivered. I knew what was there to come. Yet I had chosen this myself. I knew what I was doing. And I wouldn't return now. There was no way back.
The shop was lit brightly by the numerous candles placed at the most odd and random places. I looked at the one that was placed above an old chipped flowerless vase and another one that was placed on the doorframe . Their flame flicked with the rhythmic wind occasionally entering the ambient, through the large chiffon hangings.
The shop was vacant unlike the alley and the only noise was from the rush of people passing outside the shop. It was as if they couldn't see the shop. Maybe they couldn't. I checked the box again. It was intact and safe. And I headed to the counter.
There sat the grocer. When I approached him, he lifted his gaze at me from behind his round spectacles. Although his blue eyes twinkled amid his wrinkled skin, his mouth formed a scowl. He disliked me for sure but he liked what I brought to him.
"Do you have any wishes left?", I asked him, as innocently as I could manage. I was afraid. Afraid that he would hear the anguish in my voice. Even my attempt to hide it was pitiful.
He didn't smile like he did when I came to his shop a few years before. He had stopped smiling after my first few visits.
In his wavering yet solemn voice, he whispered, "why don't you see it yourself? Maybe there are a few left".
That was my cue. I moved the box to my other arm and proceeded deeper into the shop. It looked fully illuminated from outside but the deeper that I went, it turned darker and obscurer like the silent and mysterious ocean.
When I reached the only cupboard in the whole shop without a candle, I knocked on its side. Thrice. The cupboard slid open with a creak.
The other side was illuminated with pitch black darkness. I looked back at the grocer. He watched the passer-bys as if they were his test subjects and he was a scientist.
I hesitated for a moment then I bent over and moved through the trap door out into the darkness. There was no way back now.
As the cupboard behind me slid back into place, I discovered that the place was not completely lightless like it usually was, the moon shone tonight. Bright and beautiful. Its round face glowed brightlyin the fierce night, its radiance enveloping the darkness.
I was in the back alley. And I was alone. Nobody ever visited the back alley. Mostly because whoever visited the place, either didn't live to tell what happens here or is someone like me whose life depends on what happens here.
I stood silently watching the tall buildings around me, the backside of the colorful shops were plastered with cements, cracks and fissures adorning their walls. The windows were bolted with wooden planks and steel plates. There was a crow perched on one of the window sills. He stared at me with his watery beady eyes and I trembled.
The box in my hand vibrated, and my attention shifted from the eerie crow back to it. I took it out. From the glass top of the box, I could see the shadows lurking inside, as if a stream of water was getting muddied. The colors shifted ever so slightly, from dark greys to phthalo blues and then they jumped over the spectrum from deep violets to vibrant oranges. I loved looking at these. I could look at them for hours without blinking an eye.
Just then I heard footsteps. I knew who it was. No one else would be here in the back alley. Sweat trickled down my spine. My throat went dry and I gulped down the bitter taste in my mouth.
I forced myself to look ahead. He walked towards me,his head bent low. He stopped a few feet away from me. I'm pretty sure he smiled but I could never know for sure. His face was always covered. Sometimes with Balaclava and goggles. Sometimes with a plague doctor's mask. Sometimes with the hood of his cloak.
"What did you bring me today?"He asked in his usual husky voice.
"A happy dream", I replied.
He stood still for a moment as if utterly taken aback by my answer then unloaded the sack that he was carrying on his back.
" That's new", he said, chuckling a little. " I was expecting another nightmare". He extended his hand.
I flinched and pulled my box back. My Knuckles turned white from my strong grip. " How much will you give me?"
"The usual price", he lowered his hand.
"Happy dreams are worth more than nightmares",I stated.
"I trade them illegally," he argued, "what do I care about the proper prices?"
" It is the festival season", I said. Happy dreams were usually expensive. But they were even more so during festivities. They were highly in demand since people wanted to have a good dream on a happy night.
"Do you know what happens if I report you?"He crossed his arms. He was getting impatient. But I was not going to give up on my one and only happy dream for a few shillings.
" Yes", I said calmly, " you lose your biggest source of valuable contraband".
He stayed put as if thinking then raised his hands again, " I'll give you twice more than a surreal dream".
I raised my eyebrows. Surreal dreams were quite valuable. At least more than nightmares. This happy dream would make me a fortune.
I looked at the box in my hands for one last time. Tears stung my eyes and my throat prickled with agony. This was what I wanted, I told myself. This was what I needed.
I stroked the lid and silently dropped my precious box into his arms. He watched it as intently as I had been doing before he came. Then he took out a small leather pouch from his sack. He shook it and I heard the sharp clinking of gold coins. He threw the pouch at my feet and I picked it up.
He didn't put my box with the others in the sack. Instead he held it in his hands and turned away.
I turned away too. I wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. A few droplets of salty tears had finally managed to escape the cages of my eyes and were roaming freely on my cheeks now.
Just when I was about the climb back into the shop, his voice stopped me.
" Are you sure you don't need this?"He asked. His voice sounded almost sincere.
I looked back at him, my face stained with torment. Then at my box in his hands. It was beautiful.
This time my voice didn't shake when I replied:
"Yes".
2 Comments
Took me aback for a moment ✨🤍
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